What Does A Sexy, Confident Woman Look Like?




I was recently out with some friends and we started talking about confidence(shocker, I know).  I’ve been working with a lot of male clients and teaching them how to BE more confident.  Yes, it’s something that can be taught and developed.

We all know what a confident MAN looks like, right?  He walks tall, takes up space, speaks with authority and his voice is heard clearly.  He is often the guy who is talking to strangers, coming up to women and sending pretty girls drinks at a bar. He is aggressive and goes after what he wants.  He exudes dominance, security, and self-assurance.

All of those traits and qualities are great for men, but what do men think of women who behave that same way?  Is it attractive?  Are men attracted to “confident” women?

party girl 1

We’ve all seen them.  The girls at the bars who wear racy outfits, tons of makeup, and aren’t afraid to approach men.  Some even come up and ask the guy to buy her a drink.   I’ve actually seen a woman come up to a man, a perfect stranger, and pinch his butt.  Obviously that’s an extreme, but it’s more and more common.  More and more women are acting with this kind of “confidence.”

So I asked my trusted panel of men. Is that “cougar-like” behavior a turn On or a turn OFF? What does a sexy, confident woman look like?

The response was unanimous.  Although the attention grabbing outfits, exposed cleavage, very short dresses, extremely tight clothes, tons of makeup and hooker heels WILL get the woman noticed, the men are actually turned OFF by them.

The men I’ve talked to describe a sexy, confident woman by the following:

  • She is positive, happy, and has a good energy about her
  • She has a great sense of humor and knows how to take a joke
  • She is comfortable in her own skin
  • She has great posture & walk
  • She is intelligent
  • She is dressed to accentuate her figure, but isn’t over the top
  • Her hair and makeup are feminine and natural looking
  • She is polite, graceful, & well mannered
  • She is mysterious
  • She knows how to carry a conversation and is interested in people
  • She knows what she wants and is passionate about her career, hobbies, and life
  • She is independent and doesn’t rely on attention or acceptance from the people around her
  • She is comfortable with silence – not needing to constantly talk and is easy to be around

Questions for My Male Readers:

What are your thoughts?  Is the above list a good list of the ideal woman that men are looking for?

What do you think of the women you see or meet who are aggressive and dressed provocatively?  Are you attracted to “Party Girls“?

I would love to hear your comments and feedback

Please also check out Alter Ego Seattle for more tips, tricks and recommendations made by Marina.


Marina Lavochin
Personal Stylist & Dating Coach

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